Can I call some of you out for a minute?
How many of you are running on coffee, surviving on five hours of sleep, chasing kids, working, cooking, cleaning and taking care of everyone else—then wondering why you don't feel sexy?
Maybe you're in perimenopause.
Maybe menopause.
Maybe post-menopause.
Maybe your hormones packed a suitcase, left without saying goodbye and now your body is making up new rules every morning.
You're exhausted. You're touched out. You're hotter than the surface of the sun—and someone still has the nerve to ask:
"What's wrong?"
Sir, how much time do you have?
Here's something we don't talk about enough. When we're stressed, we don't only tighten our shoulders or clench our jaw. We can hold tension everywhere, including our pelvic floor.
Yes… even she's stressed. Apparently, nobody in this household gets a day off.
Your pelvic floor muscles play a big role in comfort, arousal, pleasure and orgasms. When those muscles stay tense, intimacy can become uncomfortable, frustrating or just… meh.
And let's be honest: if your brain is making tomorrow's grocery list while somebody is trying to romance you, we've already lost the battle.
So, girl… you need to relax.
And guess what? We may have a great solution.
Stop thinking of vibrators as something that's only brought out for the grand finale. They can also be part of your relaxation and self-care routine.
Hear me out.
Close the bedroom door.
Put your phone on silent.
Tell everyone you'll be unavailable for ten minutes. They'll survive. The socks they can't find will still be missing when you come back.
Take a deep breath.
Then take another one.
Your breathing starts slowing down. Your jaw finally unclenches. Your shoulders drop, your body begins to relax and suddenly that irritating little thing someone did earlier doesn't feel quite as serious.
You may still be annoyed—but now you're relaxed and annoyed. That's progress.
Gentle vibration can feel soothing, encourage blood flow and help you reconnect with your body instead of thinking about laundry, work or what everyone expects you to make for supper.
Because sometimes this isn't only about sex.
Sometimes it's about giving your nervous system permission to say:
"Okay, everybody calm down. We're off duty."
And no, vibrators aren't just for twenty-somethings.
They're not only for single people.
They're not only for couples.
And they're definitely not only for orgasms—although we're certainly not going to complain if that happens.
During perimenopause, menopause and post-menopause, your body may experience dryness, sensitivity, changes in arousal and a longer warm-up time.
That doesn't mean the fun is over.
It just means your body may need a little more patience, a quality lubricant and the proper motivation. Honestly, don't we all?
Will ten quiet minutes solve every problem in your life?
Probably not.
The laundry will still be there. The kids may still be yelling. Someone will absolutely ask you where something is before looking for it themselves.
But if it helps you breathe a little deeper, loosen some tension, laugh a little more and remember that you matter too, I'd call that time well spent.
So stop asking:
"What's wrong with me?"
And start asking:
"When was the last time I actually took time for myself?"
And if you're thinking, "I wouldn't even know what to choose…"
Girl, that's what we're here for.
Come see us at Better Than Friends. We'll chat, have a laugh and help you find something that fits your body, your comfort level and your stage of life.
No judgment.
No pressure.
No awkward sales pitch.
Just honest help—because taking care of yourself isn't selfish.
It's overdue.
Better Than Friends
📍 #105–375 Warren Avenue East, Penticton, BC
📞 250-222-BTFS (2837)
🌐 www.betterthanfriends.ca
Store Hours
Monday–Wednesday: 10:00 a.m.–7:00 p.m.
Thursday–Saturday: 10:00 a.m.–8:00 p.m.
Pop in, ask questions or take a look around. Whether you need relaxation, education or a little excitement, we're here to help.
P.S. If you read this whole blog without someone yelling "Mom!" or asking what's for supper, congratulations—you've already had ten minutes to yourself.